You’ve all seen it, all have mimicked it; that AT&T commercial with the little girl (and later Grandma) who only speaks in acronyms. “IDK, my BFF Jill”. Ugh, gag me with a spoon. Granted, it’s a completely overplayed segment, but it got a lot of people (re: older generation) wondering what the hell was going on, and what the meaning of “TSNF” is.
Basically, acronyms are the new go-to vernacular of the dot com generation, a resurgence of the mercifully defunct valley-girl dialect, but, like, TOTALLY cooler. So I figured I would create a mini-guide to help out those “not in the know”. Now, let's tee off with the easy ones I needn't explain- the veritable putting green of acronyms, ones like OMG, LOL, FTW, IMHO, RTFM; if you don’t know what those mean, by all means, now is your time to close your Internet browser and never EVER log back on. You’ve been officially kicked off of the Internet. GTFO. I’ll be focusing on the Par 5’s; a few obscure, if not only used by my friends, acronyms that I use the most and I feel like I should share with the rest of the world so that people know WTF I’m talking about. I feel it’s my duty to impart this knowledge on you, oh lovely reader, so that at the very least you people can stop asking me what my status messages mean.
DTM: This one came into existence in my senior year of college. It means “Dead To Me”. Used when referring to people (mainly guys) that have continually been complete asses to you, and as a chick you’ve reached your maximum on how much abuse you’ll take from douche bags. Example in context: “John didn’t call me like he said he would, AGAIN. Whatever, DTM. Shots!” Can also use CPOT as an alternative (that’s Certified Piece of Trash; use only if extremely PO’d).
SAC (or SAK): Socially Awkward Crew (or Kid). This came about post-college upon meeting hordes of kids who didn’t opt to go to a major university. Studies have shown that kids who attend small, liberal arts colleges, and engaged in individualistic sports (running, chess, golf, anything really boring to watch on tv), as well as didn’t join any social establishment, have developed into people who aren’t very good at group social interactions. These people continuously earn the FAIL stamp during group-oriented social interactions. They are great one on one, but once you get into a group, so long normalcy, hello awkward turtle! This tendency is also accentuated if you’ve hooked up with a SAK; G*d help you then.
ROFLCOPTER: Not so much an acronym, but it basically describes the act of ROFL with the act of break-dancing, or a hairstyle in the shape of, yes, a helicopter.
NBD: I can’t be held responsible for this extremely contagious acronym; this belongs to a friend (RR) who has said it enough times that it worked it’s way into my lexicon, which spread like wildfire from there on out. It stands for No Big Deal, and really, I wish I could quit it. NBD….dammit.
YDIW: Short and simple. You’re Doing It Wrong. Pretty self explanatory. A contemporary of GFY (Go F* Yourself), one of my favorites, and most frequently used
Welp, it’s short and sweet, but that’s just a general taste of some of the hot, up and coming acronyms that are being used everyday by yours truly, and the rest of my minions, errr, crew. Any thoughts or additions are welcome, don’t be a PITA about it though, otherwise you can GDN.