My view on going green and global warming
Going green in California is like saying that we should all breathe air at some point in our lives. It’s a given. Growing up here you’re instilled with habits like recycling, turning off lights when you leave a room, turning off the tap while brushing your teeth, that sort of thing. It’s always been a no-brainer for me; it’s just been not only the right thing to do, but also habit.
Now going green is the new rally cry of America, and everyone is jumping on board the green train. Great, good for them, super glad to hear it. But do I really need to hear about it every single day non-stop? Especially in San Francisco, arguably the most green obsessed city on Earth?
No, no I do not.
Look, I’m already continuing on my green quest, and upping the ante a little bit. I’m painting my apartment with organic, non-toxic paint so that I can dispose of it in the regular garbage and it doesn’t smell like chemicals. I’m thinking of selling my small SUV for one of those Smart Cars (mainly because they’re cute, look like Furby’s and I can park ANYWHERE. I mean anywhere!), and I always take my canvas bags to the grocery store to use instead of paper bags. What else does Al Gore want me to do? Stop taking showers, grow dreadlocks and protest slaughterhouses? Wait, I’m sure that’s exactly what I’m expected to do as a Californian.
I’m fairly sure that the reason that both the left and right coasts are so big on going green is because subconsciously, we all know that Middle America will never go green. Not until they start making tractors that run on bio-fuel and the pick-up truck is no longer en vogue. I’m guessing that being caught driving a Prius in Texas is punishable by five years in prison, or even the fast track to the electric chair. So is Middle America to blame for the constant stream of green propaganda on both coasts? Sure, why not.
Going green is a great thing, everyone should really be more conscious about their waste and how they go about lives. It’s like going on a life diet; it’s not easy, you’re going to screw up every once in while, but you’ll end up feeling better about yourself by sticking to it. But I am getting tired of people throwing around the green buzz words like “carbon footprint”, or “zero emissions”, things us in San Francisco have become accustomed to hearing on an almost daily basis. I don’t need to be reminded daily that I’m killing the planet by not wearing organic threads, okay?
And with that said, if anyone from Green Peace is reading this, please stop posting your minions up on every freaking street corner. How can I avoid your condescending stares and petition pushing if you won’t just let me be? Hippies.
Slangin’ The Word
My favorite slang word would most definitely be “Hoochanka”. Coined by a surly bartender down in Tucson, AZ, it describes a girl somewhere between slutty sorority girl and flat out prostitute. Not yet popular in use, hoochanka is widely used in, well, my circle of friends. So I guess this is hoochanka’s coming out party. I even used it last night! Working at the bar, I see my fair share of Hoochankas. These two girls walked in last night, complete with hooker heels, short jean skirts covered by their boobalicious empire waste going-out shirts, extensions and a face that looks like they fell straight first into a MAC counter (overly made up with shiny make-up, ugh). I wish I had a picture that I could post, but I’m sure everyone knows or has seen some hoochanka’s out there.