The Garage Sale Blog Network

Cambodian midgets equal traffic

All I gotta say is there are a lot of people talking about cambodian midgets these days.  I'm getting 130 hits a day with about 80% coming from "cambodian midget fights lion" type google searches.  Man with the new "Charlie and the Chocalate Factory" remake coming out I'm thinking Tim Burton and Yang Sihamoni might have worked out some sort of deal here to build up steam for the movie's release. 

I probably shouldn't be making fun here but my compassion has been obfuscated a bit with all the sensationalism behind this story. 

Bay to Breakers 2005 and RIP to the Cambodian Midgets

Get ready for a blog entry that hopes to incorporate the bay to breakers, the 28 cambodian midgets who died fighting a wild lion, and how this relates to my Sunday B2B experience. 

I got my first dose of bay to breakers here in san francisco this Sunday.   What I expected: a lot of nudity, costumes galore, tortilla warfare, drunken debauchery and a very early start.  What I didn't expect: the SF police countenancing keg stands passing right in front of their eyes, seeing the 1986 NY Mets (sort of), and then there was me at hour 5 seriously considering wrestling a bison for a free meal.  For those of you who don't know there are several bison fenced in "the paddock" at Golden Gate Park. 

This brings me to the Cambodian Midget portion of the blog entry.  Now I must admit I wasn't exactly designated driver material at hour 5 of B2B, but I was rational enough to realize wrestling bison wasn't an affair in which I'd walk away with all limbs.  Lucky for me I had some good friends near by to fuel that rationale.  The Cambodian government however, in a cold, collected, composed state, offered their entire midget fighting league to the whims of a wild lion.  The result: 28 of the 42 league members dead while the other 14 sufferred serious inuries ranging from head injuries to severed limbs. 

There are two ways to look at this:  One, the more optimistic and forgiving view, is the Cambodian  government feels like I did at the Bay to Breakers 365 days out of the year.   That would be pretty cool...pretty cool but pretty dangerous for any other fighting leaugues that the government still has in their arsenal.  Two: the Cambodian government is absolutely fucking insane.  I mean I don't know if you have to watch Willy Wonka and the Chocalate Factory to have an appreciation for midgets and oompa loompas but if it works I'll send them my copy today. 

In conclusion we'll have some major problems if the Cambodian government ever decides to run the Bay to Breakers. 

By the way some other bloggers and I are eager to get our hands on any available CMFL (Cambodian Midget Fighting League) jerseys.  If you have any information that will result in me wearing one please email me. 

Sea Lion Rafting

I went surfing this weekend at the beach I've been frequenting since I was a toddler.  I was about to go in the water when I saw these bundlings of fins up and down the beach protruding the water.  After 25 years of going to this beach I had never seen such a thing.   They were these circles about 12 feet in diameter or so with about 20 fins in each grouping.  My first instinct was "shit...I'm not surfing today". 

I've come to find out that this is a sea lion behavior called rafting.  Sea lions raft when there is no available haulout site on which to rest (i.e. a dock).   Rafting can also be useful for group foraging or even synchronized diving.

Join a motorcycle gang near you

I was driving on the 680 this weekend and saw a group of 8 motorcycle riders going the opposite direction as me.  The first thing that went through my head, whether I actually believed it or not, was "motorcycle gang". 

Here's where things might get a bit confusing for you.  The following theory was presented to several people over the weekend and to my dismay most thought I was bonkers:

Let's assume that motorcycle riding is an organized function.  Other organized functions are baseball teams, chess clubs, bay area hikers, etc.  Now of all the organized functions I can imagine, the only one where an association with gang is commonplace in society is that of motorcycle riders.  I mean even Homer started one.  It should be noted that organized functions where a third party, gender, ethnicity, or race are a requisite for membership are invalid examples by my measures.  For instance a "prison gang" relies on a third party, the prison, for its sustenance. 

You still with me?

Okay so let's assume that paragraph one is a cogent argument for the uniqueness of motorcycle riding and its association to gangs.  There could be hundreds of possibilities for why motorcycle riding is an impetus for a group to form a gang or be a self-proclaimed gang.   Roving through towns and freeways could reignite our primitive DNA of nomadic aggression and protection.  Who knows?   

Here's where I may stretch it a bit.  Let's assume there is some intrinsic bonding dynamic involved with motorcycle riding, something that evokes camaraderie.  Then why not incorporate it into the workout regimens of other organized functions to see if it can assist in uniting teams and clubs?  I mean what if the LA Lakers last year just went on a freeway motorcycle crusade down highway five?  Would it bring Kobe and Shaq together as one, together at last?  Okay so maybe not the best example but it can't be the magic pill, it must be incorporated into the workout regimen from the very beginning. 

Who's with me? 

*Mountain/road bikes also allowed