My Biological Egg Timer is Ticking, Ticking, Ticking - Ship in a Bottle

I think it's time to let all of our readers know that my blogs may be taking on a slightly different character in the coming months, as I have decided to have a baby – a decision that undoubtedly will affect every area of my life. I have wanted to have a baby for the past five years, but I knew that my life (and my child's) would be easier if I waited until I finished school and got settled into a career.  Of course, I always imagined that I would have my first baby after being married and that having a family would be more of a partnership than a solo venture. But as we all know, life rarely goes as expected. 

 

So I've decided to pursue my dream despite the fact that there's no sign of marriage in my immediate – or perhaps even distant – future.  Naturally, taking care of a baby is a chore on its own, but getting pregnant is my present challenge.  In less than two weeks, I will be ovulating, which as everyone should know is primetime for baby making.  The problem is that I don't yet have a partner for this process. Now, I'm not looking for a source of child support or a baby-daddy in the sense that he should have any supportive role in the pregnancy or in raising the child, I just need some good, hearty seed.  

 

Now, my first thought was to go to a sperm bank because it doesn't get much more NSA than that, but I had to reject this idea.  First, pay for semen?  Really??  That notion goes into the same bucket as paying for air or sunshine or, well, sex.  Second, as a scientist, I'm trained to cringe at the thought of biological samples going through any freeze-thaw process, and I'm not too keen on the potential for my first baby to have two heads or one too many sex chromosomes.  My second thought was to go to a friend.  What better place to create life than with someone I know and trust, right?  The obvious problem with this idea is that I would ultimately have to defriend my donor – and not just on Facebook – for all of the obvious reasons. 

 

Since I have successfully dated two people through this blog network I am turning to it again for assistance in this effort.  The network has agreed to help financially with the baby but I am turning to the readers/commenters for my donator.  The nail in the coffin was the latest example of using the internet as an efficient means for a solution – whether it’s paying college tuition or finding the right donor. 

So now readers…chime in. Message me and we'll do the pic thing....

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Comments

[Jake]

If you're going to ask for this level of intimacy from randoms, the easiest way to let them know about yourself would probably be making your facebook profile public and posting a link

Aside from that, what do you look for in a donor? Healthy seed, a la michael phelps (who is not healthy, all those double joints make him a ergonomic disaster on dry ground)

height, weight, education, fitness, etc. Helps the community to know what you want before I post this link on craigslist for you.

Also, your own age/height/weight/education/plans for the child (what city, what kind of housing, etc) are important.

Any semi-responsible donor would probably want to know what kind of environment the offspring can expect. First, your ability to provide for the child, both financially and in terms of attention (i.e. flexible job time, nanny network, doting grandparents to be who are retiring and want nothing other than a 3rd generation, etc).

Other decision factors: Living situation, how many cats you have (more than 1-2, trouble), longest relationship, what you are like, medical history, etc.

That being said, good luck.

[Ship in a bottle]

Thanks, Jake. Short of making my Facebook public, I can certainly provide more details about me and my plans for the child.

About me: I am 26 years old, 5'4", 115lbs., long brown hair, well, you can see more details in the pic. I have most of a PhD in Biophysics and will be finishing my JD before the child is born. I work for a young company in the city (the identity of which I'll not disclose) and am in sound financial shape to support the child while working. However, the GSBN has agreed to help out with supporting the child for the few months after he/she is born while I'll need to stay home with him/her.

Once I return to work, I should be able to perform most of my duties from home, only going into the office a total of 8 hours per week or less. While working from home, I will likely have friends around to assist with the baby while it is still young or will hire a qualified nanny. Certainly, I will have a nanny stay at home with the baby when I do go into work, or I will take the baby with me as possible.

As for education, I plan to play as big of a role as possible in educating the child from a very young age. I will also try to socially acclimate the child by participating in group play sessions with her during the first few years of life and then by enrolling him/her in half-day pre-school and kindergarten classes once he/she is old enough. Beyond that, I'll have to perform research into the best elementary, middle and high schools in the area. Of course, I'll encourage the child to attend college and post-graduate schools and will be supportive of his/her educational goals.

As for "good, healthy seed," I'm really just looking for someone in good health, without a strong family history of disease and who is well-rounded in terms of attractiveness and intelligence.

Oh, and for living situation, I have NO cats and never will (unless the child guilts me into it). I currently live alone in a small apartment in the city with no animals and one plant, but I am apartment hunting presently. I plan to move into a large 2-br place (in the city) well before the child is born.

[Giancarlo]

Wow, this was an amazing read. It's not often I read a blog and have to stop a few times to actually take in what is being said.

If you actually go through with this, which it seems like you will, I can't say enough how courageous you are.

Talk about believing in the internet. This is probably highest form of flattery the internet could receive.

So I'm happy to cast my hat in the pot of suitors. I'm happy to share a pic, bio, late night conversations over a cup of joe. Whatever makes you comfortable...and me as well.

[Nav]

Well I think this is just a fantastic idea but it just doesn't seem sporty enough. I think you should leave the father of the baby up to chance, this way the dad feels no real responsibility to the child and his paternal instincts won't send him running back into your and your new born baby's life.

"How is this possible Nav?" you say. It's simple. A Foursome.

Not only to you get the benefit of a rachous good time, you get the chance of spinning the genetic wheel and ending up with a baby thats half Indian (myself), half Korean (skim) or half alcoholic asshole (Pat)

We are all very good looking, young, intelligent and since none of us are responsible enough to wear rubbers or cop to having a kid, you would never have to worry about seeing us again. ever.

If this sounds like "something you might be interested in," look us up. We'll be at the Tides, Zihuatanejho MX room 308 ;)

-Nav

The Triple Threat team.
Tides Hotel
Zihuatanejho MX

[Jake]

Working with a Bank may be the only way to securely transmit your "goods".

Gentlemen, research this thoroughly. Ma'am, no offense, but I can't not post the following information before too many men jump at the chance to service your needs.

Based on my limited understanding of the law, the current agreement would still leave any known male donor liable for child support, regardless of what is agreed upon. You are chancing that for the next 19 years, this person will not change her mind.

To date, A parent cannot contract to give up the right to receive child support because it is not the parent’s right to give away; it is the child’s. Any contract attempted to waive the right to child support is void.

While it could work out great and there is every reason to believe you are the ideal donor and that she will uphold her side of the pact, think it through.

Condition (1) if no sex is involved: " 'Is the man still liable for child support even if he does not engage in sexual intercourse with a woman, but merely provides sperm for artificial insemination and agrees with the mother that there shall be no child support liability' The courts have again consistently said yes"

And if there is sex involved:
"so long as a man engages in an intimate sexual act resulting in the depositing of his sperm with a woman who then becomes pregnant, he is liable for child support"

Morgan, though eccentric, is an expert on the topic. More on paternity can be read here:
http://books.google.com/books?id=yMnASH6vE1YC&pg=PA46&lpg=PA46&dq=paternity+donor+sperm+liability&source=web&ots=jeRKls3O17&sig=HVHVjpc6B3D-veGDkA4iei6lcnE&hl=en&sa=X&oi=book_result&resnum=6&ct=result#PPA47,M1

[Robot]

What if one wanted the date but not the baby? You're cute but kids are expensive.

[Jeremiah]

Im down,
Im 5'7" 145 pounds Scottish and German.
Spent 2 years in Seminary before transferring to a "real" college to finish up my undergrad and then go to law school.
I am also in the Army Reserves so if child support is needed I can get it. And if I die in the line of duty my life insurance is hefty.
I do have a family history of Pectus Incavatum (not sure of the actual spelling) it means some of us in have breast bones that curve inward. Mine required surgery but the few others did not.
Other then that no crazy people that I know of or anything major.

[Eric]

Id fertilize you :) I have alot to offer, so if you wanna know, just ask.

[Two Shacks]

Wow... you serious? What city do you live in?

[In Russet Shadows]

Nah, I think I'll pass. Children without a father end up in trouble (seen the ghetto lately?).

[Sid]

If you have to ask for it then you are already a hopeless case.
May your venture come true!

[Jason]

Both my wife and I were found to be in excellent health with no abnormalities sexually, yet it took us more than a year just to get pregnant. We tried every tool, book, and measurement in the book to make sure we hit the right moment.

Just in case, be prepared for the long haul and don't get distraught if it doesn't happen right away.

[Benedict; In a basket; Sunny Side; Runny]

Over 6'9"; 220 lbs.; no family deformity; student-for-life scholarship; family history of athleticism, literary scholarship, and electrical engineering.

I can also shoot fire from my ears.

[Joost]

You're 26... you still got quite some quality child-bearing years to go. Why not hold off for a bit? You might meet a good dad for your kid.

(hey that rimes) :)

[Aktee]

Wow, that's special.
I'm a mix of cambodian, chinese, and thai. I come from a family of engineer, I myself is studying to be an electrical engineer. Our family genes seems to bear small but muscled guys, and very sexy girls (but smart, my sister's an engineer too). My family doesn't have any allergy.

I'm from Montreal, Canada, and i'll happily fly to see you free of charge . Since I live far from you (assuming you're from the US), you have no risk of me dropping by and bother you and the kid.

ciao! good luck

[Chad]

Ahhh wow. Awesome.

Well, I'll help! I'm 6'0" and in good heath. I come from a family of doctors, lawyers, engineers, and musicians. I'm a successful computer nerd and a musician. My current goal aside from rockstar is to get my PhD in computer nerdery and be a crazy college professor.

Also, I make bagels from scratch.

[Trip]

You are incredibly selfish. I really hope you don't conceive.

[kipp]

this...is...weird...

[Ed]

If you're getting a JD, you should be familiar with some of the serious issues raised by Jake (Sept 23, 2:25pm).
Maybe those aren't big concerns from your perspective, but it would be prudent to realize what kind of judgment calls you're asking men to make. You should consider what kind of man it is who would agree to an arrangement like this.

That said, go with Jeremiah, the Army Reserves guy.

[AK]

sorry can't break that egg.

[bobby]

go meet a dude, befriend him, then have the courage to take it further.

[danimal]

Joost - You would not be a good match. Obviously incapable of spelling simple English words. It's "rhymes" not "rimes". Idiot.

Chad - Negative. Crazy professor? Yeah.. I don't think crazy is a positive trait that you want to be advertising.

Aktee - "sexy girls".. aren't you talking about your sisters? You sick fuck. By the way, Canada sucks.

Two Shacks - Your name sounds like you live in the ghetto. Pass.

Nav - Triple team? I don't even know what to say to that. Right, either a third chance of having one half of one of you or possibly, a sick combination of the three of you. Get out of here.

Jeremiah - Inward breast bones. lol. No brownie points for that.

----

Speaking of which, Jamie wants nakie pics now.

[concerned]

To potential inseminators: see previous post entitled "WITH CYANIDE IN MY POCKET..."

[jamie jenkins]

I'm a 6'4, 240 pound vegetarian who scored perfect on the SAT and have won California's Amateur Triathlon three years in a row. I work for an NGO that finds animals new homes. I have won some of the largest cases in California as an attorney and make over 1.4 million a year. I scored a 175 on the LSAT and plan on making a run for the State Senate within the next year or two. I'm looked up to by many, but despite what you may think, I am a very humble guy just looking for love.

Oh, except for one thing. My penis bleeds frequently and I have inverted teeth. The roots stick out of my mouth. It's really really... weird.

Let's meet soon!

[Jamon]

A baby is not a generic plant you grow in a pot positioned nicely on your window sill. It is a complex and eternal mixing of you and another. Whomever you entangle with will continue through spacetime as a being deeply interwoven with you. Not only does this affect your form within the child, but by forking into another you will no longer be the same independent signature you are today.

Your entire life will change, regardless of the calculations you make. Your understanding is flawed, and you appear to be viewing it as an external process with variables that can simply be planned for in order to produce the intended outcome. This seems to be a dissonance between a higher-level training in science, with an extremely primitive desire. The result is ugly and perverse.

That you have incorporated this into your blogging has only compounded the confused absurdity. You are treading a line where a decision that will not only affect your life circumstance more than any other decision, but will also cascade into the future setting the course for the basis of entire generations, is presented as an attention-whoring publicity stunt. Blogs, those faddish geek-girl glasses, and matching trendy tech toys, will soon be out of style... but babies are forever.

We've hit the ceiling in terms of human capacity. You present so perfectly the twisted insanity that results when monkeys are given glasses. One part logic, two parts emotion, three parts confused. Take a break from your games monkey-glasses girl, reassess what it means to be human and see the absurdity you bring to the world today with words such as these.