This is a pre-Christmas story for those who feel like the holiday spirit is more of a trick than a treat. I spent the last weekend packing up my old apartment, moving to the new apartment, unpacking at the new apartment, and cleaning, cleaning, cleaning the old apartment. Needless to say, my body felt absolutely wrecked and very much in need of a hot bath.
Last night I began filling the tub, I lit a few candles, put on some soothing music and located a package of bath salts for muscle aches that a friend had given to me for the flu years ago. (I'd always been too afraid to sit in the tub at my old place, as it was generally quite disgusting, but the new tub is absolutely pristine and bath-worthy.) So, I opened the package of salts and poured about half of it into the filling tub before reading the directions. Apparently the salts are supposed to be placed in a little fine-mesh baggy before being put into the water since, in addition to the salts, there were all kinds of herbs and berries and things that one wouldn't want in their hair or shower drain. Oops. I figured most of the damage was already done, so I took the bath anyway.
Well, in the shower this morning, I was soaping myself up and rubbing myself down as usual. I cleaned my ears and belly button, my armpits and between my toes, and I didn't notice anything unusual… until I was performing my routine cleaning of another orifice. I discovered things that I never thought I'd find inside me: rosemary, thyme and some little dried berries. I thought, How fitting. I actually am this Christmas's stuffed turkey.