New Post - New Argument - Readers Decide - Rotary Red Phone

So one of the new things I introduce to the blog in 2009 a la reality tv and all that jazz is reality IM'ing and chatting.  This is where I'll have chats and actual arguments with friends and then after its done ask if i can post them to the blog and have readers decide who was right and wrong. 

First discussion "you left a raider's license plate frame in my car and i probably threw it out after 9 months of being in there - so who's at fault?"




Took place on G chat about 5 minutes ago:

Eric: hey were you seriously mad over that license plate thing?

 
Servando:  

i wasnt mad

but i am annoyed

i know its my fault

for leaving shit in your car

but that two things i have left there that have just dissappeared

 
Eric:  what was the other?

Servando:  my sunglasses

 
Eric:  oh

well i mean i don't want to disregard all responsibility on my end

i understand where you are coming from

but if there is a plastic license plate case

in my car somewhere

for about 9 months

and no one claims it

or i don't know who's it is

i will probalby throw it away

cause otherwise id have to ask all my friends and no names that have been in my car

over the last 8 months

if it's theirs

Servando:  how many peope would leave a raider license plate holder?

in car your car

two maybe three ppl?

me, berkies and ???

i cant get mad

Eric:  dude all im saying is

 
Servando:  it was me who left it there

 
Eric:  if i was irresponsible enough to leave something in your car

for 9 months

without asking for it

or getting it myself

i wouldn't be tripping out

and calling you at work

Servando:  im not trupping

i called because i remembered

and it was lunch

so i figured you would be out of the office

 

Eric:  it's not a big deal

i did feel bad

and quite honestly id offer to pay for another one if i thought it was fair

i would

 
Servando:  no dude

 i guess i just have different expectations

someone leaves somethign in my car...i notice it right away

and try to give it right back

and its not your fault at all

its mine

so dont trip its not a big deal

 

Eric:  well you're saying two very different things in that sentence

so it's hard for me to take it lightly

it's not teh license plate

i understand

it's the process and principle

being discussed here

Servando:  right but you have different expections on how the handle it

which i respect

i cant expect you to function the way i do and vise versa

right

we do things differently

im respecting the way you handle it

and its my fault

and im over it

thats all im saying

 me:  i respect that

and as a take away for me

if i see something in my car from n ow on

ill try my best to give it back to whoever i think it belongs to

happy ending

 

I'm right and he's wrong right readers?

 

Comments

[MostEmailedNews.com]

As someone who frequently leaves stuff in peoples cars, it's all your fault!

- T

http://mostemailednews.com

[Garden Patio]

Nice post, keep up the good work with your blog!

[Raiders Nation]

Why is everyone always hating on the Raiders!

[Ship in a bottle]

It's not nice to leave shit in people's cars.

[Chris]

Good and fun concept - sharing the chats and having people evaluate. My two cents:

Your conversation was very little about etiquette surrounding handling items left in one's car by another or even the process and principles that may arise in this situation.

Let's loosely relate it to Eckhart Tolle's ego-identity model to see if we can discover what was really going on.

It appears the conversation was mostly a battle of pride, which is an emotion that often arises when the ego takes a defensive stance.

Both your starting and ending questions are defenses. "Are you seriously mad?" is a challenge from the ego in you to the ego in Servando. "I'm right" might as well be the motto for the life of an ego, what it's fortress walls are made of and what each bullet it shoots from inside the fortress screams.

Meanwhile the ego in Servando is running haywire. What he says appears mostly as attempts to meet several egoic needs such as reconciliation with a friend, having the last word, tricking itself into being "over it", and pride in maintaining the position he chose on the etiquette in this situation.

His ego seems to have chosen this position because when he remembered the license plate frame his ego had a feeling of loss of identity that it provided him and so he imagined the ideal behavior that would have brought the item back to him.

Notice how I have been speaking of the ego as detached from you and Servando. It is because your actual self and being is not represented in the conversation, just your egos.

Your actual selves are aware this whole incident is trivial. They realize the items left in the car, the feelings associated with the conversation about them when it was brought up are all in the past and that they are not relevant to the Present, which is the only place and time you actually exist.

The license plate frame and the emotions feel relevant because there is a sense that as friend's you need to be at peace with each other, but that is actually just an egoic concern. You'd be at peace without the ego's attachments to the material things and emotions of the past.

The awareness that your actual being, who you actually are doesn't need these things to FEEL alive is a first step toward the dissolution of the ego and the ability to be fully engaged in the present, which is the only time and place in which you actually exist. Sure, use the memory of the experience to learn, but the attachments and emotions have no need to persist.

By the way, where does the ego come from? The ego comes from the illusion that we are separate entities from everything else in the world of our perception.

This is my best attempt at describing the nature of your chat drawing from Tolle's ego-identity model and my own experience/philosophy!

[paul]

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[goose]

Chris had quite a lot to say about that g-chat. Wow. Eric, if you would like me 2 cents, here it is....
You found a Raiders license plate cover in your car.....I think you have to assume it probably belongs Servando. But since the Raiders are worthless, you did the right thing by throwing it away.

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"Servando:
i wasnt mad
but i am annoyed
i know its my fault
for leaving shit in your car
but that two things i have left there that have just dissappeared" is very good

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