The Garage Sale Blog Network

Hey Sweetheart, its a dangerous world out there - Russian Stamp

I watched the first part of Sarah Palin's ABC Interview with Charles Gibson last night and I couldn't believe my ears.  This interview was held on 9/11, a day when both candidates agreed to a cease fire as they remembered the terrorist attack on America.  I guess Charles Gibson didn't get the truce memo because he was firing away at Sarah Palin like she was the first duck at hunting season.  Gibson's agenda was evident to anyone who wasn't watching with their blinders on.  He was trying to get her to say something stupid like, "I'm not ready to be VP" or "let's blow up Iran," anything that a politician in their right mind knows they shouldn't say.  He repeated his questions 3 times waiting for the "New York Times" headline answer he never got.  "Are you ready to be the VP?"  "Are you...ready to be the VP?"  "How bout' now?"  "It's a dangerous world out there, are you ready to be the VP?"  At that point I wish I could've reached inside my TV to give him the b!tch slap he deserved.  What the hell does he mean, "its a dangerous world out there??"  I guarantee that if Barack Obama or any other man would've been sitting across from Gibson, he wouldn't dare to make that "its a dangerous world out there" comment.

Once he realized he couldn't get her there, he decided to change the topic to foreign affairs.  He asked her if a nuclear Iran posed an existential threat to Israel, and Israel decided to take out Iran's nuclear facility, how should the US react?  When she told him that Israel is our friend and we can't second guess their decisions, he repeated the question another two times waiting for the headline answer again.  WAKE UP GIBSON!!!  She's not stupid!!!  I mean seriously...come on...if any country posed an existential threat to our country, existential like threatening our existence, I guarantee we'd be blowing the heck out of their nuclear plant too!!!  Then he segues into, "well why do you think we were attacked on 9/11?" We can all argue about what really constitutes an existential threat, and that's valid, but we shouldn't attack terrorists want to kill us??  Should we have tea and crumpets with them instead?  GIbson, you're the one who said its a dangerous world out there!!

Sarah Palin handled herself with class.  I only wish that there were some other hockey moms sitting in the stand because Gibson deserves a puck to the face!

The Clean and Jerk - Russian Stamp

I've been glued to the TV during the Olympic Games and find myself getting creative to make sure I don't miss anything.  I work out in the morning and catch the games before work.  I'm glued to the metal competition of the Americans V/S the Chinese and the controversy of the Chinese Olympic Shadiness.  I'm rushing home after work to watch the nightly coverage and am enjoying the variety of sporting events including ones I have never heard of.  My favorite new sport in 5th grade immature fashion has been the weightlifting round called the Clean and Jerk.

The Clean and Jerk is when the weightlifters have to first lift the bar up to their chests, and then jerk it up over their heads.  Now this sport wouldn't be so entertaining if it weren't for the hilarious commentary that comes with it.

• "Well Bob, looks like he wasted all his energy on the clean, and didn't leave enough for the jerk!"
• "Looks like he tried to jerk too fast and he failed!"
• "Wow!!  What a jerk!"

I know, I have the maturity of a 5th grader, and am certainly not behaving like I'm smarter than one...I haven't gotten into the weightlifting Snatch event, I have limits!!!  But still...the clean and jerk...LOL!!!!!

Blue in the Face from Going Green - Russian Stamp

My view on going green and global warming:

So before I start on a rampage about how much I hate the Prius and the people who drive them, I'd like to give a disclaimer. I grew up in California. I remember when they taught us in school about conserving water during the drought of the late 1980's. I take short showers, recycle, own stock in a solar panel company and turn the lights off when I leave the room. But seriously, I'm completely over this entire "going green" campaign.

Every time I hear the words, "global warming" I puke a little. Al Gore completely killed it. I'm sick of hearing about saving the environment from a guy who flies all over the world on a private jet using more fuel that I've ever used with my Toyota Corolla. This brings me to the Prius. The Prius gets about 45 miles per gallon, my Corolla gets about 38, I deserve to be in the carpool lane too! I don't mind other hybrid cars, for example, the Civic Hybrid looks just like the normal car, and I'll all about not buying oil from terrorists. But the Prius is not only ugly, its ffffffuuuuuuuuuuuggggggggggllllllllllyyyyyyyyyy!!! Its awkward shape and pretentiously raised backseat is like someone walking around thinking they are better than everyone and inviting the rest of us to kiss their backside, or backseat in this case. I can just see the average Prius owner, some unshowered guy who wears flip flops and has convinced himself that wheat grass shots are yummy, and that camping is fun. He should be shot!

I don't live in San Francisco, but I'm also annoyed at this new no plastic bag rule. I reuse my plastic bags all the time. They make for excellent garbage can lining, and I pack shoes in them when I go on vacation. The "Going Green" initiative does not win this time, you know who wins? Glad and other plastic bag companies whose business will go up significantly since we won't get our free plastic bags anymore. I love San Francisco, but one point for the suburbs where plastic bags are plentiful for the re usage.

A few other things that bother me on the Going Green initiative, SUVs that have the "keep Tahoe blue" stickers on them. HELLOOOOO SUVer, you're not helping! I'm also tired of hearing about the treatment of animals in slaughter houses. THEY'RE IN A SLAUGHTER HOUSE, we are going to eat them anyway.

Finally, just because you should take shorter showers doesn't mean you should be taking NO showers. You can be an environmentalist without smelling like dirt. Wow, I feel a lot better! On that happy note, I'm gonna drink some corporate Starbucks coffee and eat a hamburger!

Favorite Slang:

Favorite Slang Word For Shizzle My Nizzle! Snoop Dogg, you are my hero! Love your music, and now you have your own language. Saying "yes" is so boring, but "for shizzle" is like yes with frosting and sprinkles on top. People don't have enough nizzles anymore. "Home skillet' and "home boy" is sooooooo 1990's. I chill with my nizzles in my crib...OMG, I hope I just didn't initiate a gang war. For Shizzle!

Workplace Email Translations - Russian Stamp

It happens every day.  You're at work minding your own business, not bothering anyone, and someone sends an email or does something stupid to make you angry.  Unfortunately, there are a multitude of reasons why it is inappropriate to fire back an angry email response in return.  We still have to work with these people, HR may be in the way, or even worse, it could be addressed at our boss.  So...what to do?

It has become customary to hide expletives and disguise them as business jargon to get your point across without getting fired.  Here are some prime examples:

1. Ending your email with "Kind Regards" - This is code for "F@&% you very much"  Its formal enough to convey a sense of harshness under the wool blanket of the word, "kind."  There's nothing "kind" about "Kind Regards", its more like, "regards from a place where the sun don't shine!"

2. "Thank you for your response,  HOWEVER..." - In this case, the word "however" is the whind up for a big insult that you can't say because you're at work. Its like you can almost see the expletives hidden between punctuation.  HOWEVER..you're stupid and that idea would never work!  There I said it, and I feel much better!

3. Thanks! :) - This translation is simple. :) = flipping someone the bird.  Sometimes it can also be translated into "Thanks @$$-hole!"

4. "In the future, _______"  - This blank can be filled in with a number of choices:
           In the future, learn how to follow simple directions.
           In the future, please run this by me before you reply to all.
           In the future, I hope you are swallowed by bears.

5. "We regret to inform you" - This means, "It makes my day to inform you that your idea has been rejected, and I can't even believe that you would make such a request.  You have some serious nerve thinking you can just come in here and get what you want, and NO...you can't have it!  HAHAHAHAHAHA...sucker!!!!!

6. "Can you please..." -  When you see this from your co-workers, it can very well mean just as it suggests, a simple request.  When you see it from your boss it means, "do it or you're fired!!"

I hope this has been a helpful tutorial of workplace emails.

Kind Regards,
Leya the Russian Stamp!

This is Leya....calling for back up

I'm a bit of a control freak.  I don't like to lose anything.  Everything has its place in my house, and I'm totally one of those people who come home after a late night of partying and no matter how tired I am, I still hang up my clothes in the closet.  I know..its a disease, and I blame my mother.  I'll let you in on a secret... when it gets close to exam time, I color coordinate my t'shirts in organizational study procrastination.  I really thought I had it all under control.  Then one day I was talking to my step brother who's kinda my business and technology guru.  He was telling me about this company he was starting with some friends called Backblaze that backs up your computer data online.  He asked me..do you back up the data on your computer?

HOLD IT..someone stop the music, what do you mean back up??  Are you telling me that clicking "save" on the computer doesn't do just that...save???  You mean its possible I could lose everything??  Pictures, videos, music...and g-d forbid, my homework??  I feel like I've been living in a "save" key deceiving world and the blinders have been lifted up off my eyes.  I'm ashamed to admit it, but no...I do not back up my data.  The only attempt at back up I've done is to save my final projects and resume on a USB flash drive.  If I lose it, I'm screwed!

So then I thought...ok...well how stupid do you have to be to actually lose your data?  Its right there on your computer, and unless you're opening emails from people you don't know, or spilling your coffee on your hard drive you've gotta be pretty safe right??? WRONG!!!  Losing your data is as easy as having your cell phone just turn off and die one day or a computer malfunction gone terribly wrong.  As is says on the Backblaze website, "It's not a question of will you lose your data—it's when!"

Now great!  I have to back up my data as if I didn't have enough stuff to do...this is going to be a long process, many USB flash drives, or some really expensive software I can't afford, right?  Wrong again!!!  My step-bro, who had once convinced me to get a business degree because I also wanted to work at a high tech company with foosball tables and subsidized meals, has now convince me that backing up my data online was the next best thing since instant messaging.  I don't even have to do anything, it will automatically find the files and back them up.  Sold!!!  Ok wait..how much???  As I close my eyes and open my wallet, he catches me off guard with his answer, $5/month.  Oh...$5 a month, I can do that! 

Life has been pretty great since then.  I'm still an organizational control freak, but now there's a little screen that pops up automatically and says, "backing up data now."   I know my pictures, music, and my homework too are all safely backed up online to a data center to protect it from floods, earthquakes, and bad people.  Now...if there were only a way to back up the professor's lectures in my head before the exam without studying...um Glebka..ya start working on that one for $5/month!!!

Leya : Garage Sale Symbol - Russian Stamp

Leya has marketing background and knew little about IT until she started working at an internet company two years ago.  It was in their IT department that she was first exposed to the acronyms and complexity of high-tech lingo.  After struggling to conform, or at least get through meetings without looking up words in the dictionary, Leya finally decided to blog about the frustrations of being a mid-tech girl in a very high-tech, fast paced world.  Faced with the inevitability of co-worker laughter at the jargon Leya didn't understand, she chose to laugh at herself instead via blogging!  Pseudo-named, The Russian Stamp, there are occasional hockey references and other Russian side notes in her blog...(GO SHARKS!!)  Besides blogging, she enjoys traveling and is always planning her next adventure.  She is also back in school working on her MBA because her Russian parents said, "bachelor degree OK, but nu???  Vhere is masters??"  Leya's family works in the tech industry and she is glad to finally have something to contribute to dinner table discussions.  Leya blogs to encourage her other technically challenged co-workers to join in spirit...if you can't beat em', blog about it!

Russian Computer Words - Russian Stamp (Leya)

As a bi-lingual girl,  I notice how computer lingo is developing in the international linguistic world.  With the Silicon Valley leading the front on tech lingo, other countries are following suit and adopting our verbiage.  The Russians. like many other people are too lazy, tired, busy drinking vodka to come up with their own words.  Or perhaps, they don't want to stand in line for 2 hours for a short word they probably didn't need anyway...so they steal American words.  Here's a new Cold Lingo War all over again.  Russian tech and business lingo is pretty much American lingo with a Russian accent.

1. English: Computer, Russian: Com-peu-trrrrr
2. English: Keyboard, Russian: Ki-borrrrrrrrrd
3. English: Starbucks, Russian: Starrrrrrrrbuck!  (Where did the "s" disappear to?  I don't know, maybe been swallowed by Vladamir in the tech writing department!)

The advantage for the bi-lingual folks is that English words are usually shorter and to the point.  So instead of pressing the "leaving this page to enter another world" key, they can just hit the "ESC" key. 

Although I'd really love if some elements of the Russian language were mixed into the computer.  For example, imagine the word, "NET!!" coming across your screen in big red letters when you make a mistake.  It would also be pretty awesome if your typos were corrected by a Russian mom's voice, "vat??  Dis is not spelling, I did not move to America for you to spell like this...Iz disvat they teach you in school??  PAZOR!!! (Eng: Shame on you!)"